Duke had just explained to Kerry how she could use her opposable thumbs to escape from the dog runs.

All the dogs agreed to be quiet and let her get away. The dogs are on duty at night to protect everyone and they're supposed to put out the alarm if anything out of the ordinary is going on.

Vincent saw Kerry sneaking past the Day Run and ran inside and jumped on Neko and chewed on his tail until Neko agreed to start up the barking. At Vincent's mercy with four fangs in his tail, Neko screamed for all the dogs to bark.

With Kerry away and not watching over the hospital at night, Lena had moved in. Sound asleep she jumped out of bed hearing every dog on the property howling the "help me" howl. Joe Callahan, always ready to shoot something in the night, leapt out of bed and had his shotgun in hand before his feet hit the ground.

Lena came from one direction, Joe from the other. And smack - there was Kerry, looking mighty guilty - right in the middle. Her excuse of, "I just wanted to use the bathroom....", was met by two pairs of hostile eyes. Lena handcuffed her and Joe walked her back to the dog run with his shotgun pressing in her back. I can't repeat what he was muttering cuz us goats don't talk that way.

Vincent, who's been photo documenting this great adventure for you, was right there snapping away. But that dumb cat didn't have enough sense to turn on the flash!!! Silly cat...

With Kerry securely locked back up in the dog runs, Lena went back to bed.

Vincent and Duke argued throughout the night. Vincent wanted to pick Mr. White, an ancient, wise old man, to judge Kerry's fate. Duke said if any judging had to be done Smoochie was just as old and was blind too, so he wouldn't have to risk getting his eyes scratched out by angry cats anyway.

By morning Duke's nose was scratched and bleeding and Vincent's already short tail was a notch shorter. The arguing and fighting had gotten so bad we had to call Lloyd Dolan, professional referee, in to settle the matter.

"Now you two settle down and listen to me. This is unfair fighting. Why don't you settle this in a civilized manner instead of acting like a couple of animals? I said break it up! And I mean it! If I can handle two 400 pound professional wrestlers, I can surely handle you two!

"Well aren't the rules that she gets judged by a jury of her peers? And isn't she a cat? So Mr. White...", hissed Vincent.

"Peers? Peers? You guys are a bunch of tuna grubbing mongrels!" Duke snarled. 

"That's enough! Time Out!" ordered Lloyd. Lloyd explained, "I'm going to TELL you how it will be. These so called skinny underfed and abused animals will be examined by a professional veterinarian. Then all the evidence will be set before a professional HUMAN judge to be weighed. Pun intended, you chunky monkey."

"Watch it biped! Wanna put up your dukes and fight it out?" sputtered Vincent.

"No, Help, Save me," cried Vincent. "Let me hide behind you, Duke! Help! Tell that human to go pick on somebody his own size!"

"No wonder somebody dumped you at the pound!", said Lloyd with a snide grin. 

"You're my hero! Thank you Lloyd!!! That's the first step in saving my tail !!!!!! 

And so Doc Joe Fox was called in to examine the supposed starved felines.

No! Not the DREADED SCALES! Doc Joe had all the right tools for the job at hand.

"I already had my workout lifting dumbbells this morning. This is one FAT cat! Kick me one more time you little brat and I'll check your temperature!"

Let's check another: Mister Mister.

"Maybe if they just weigh my tip toes..." 

in my professional opinion.

Okay, so maybe a third one just for good measure...

You want my professional opinion?

"It's just plain FAT, Fat Cats, do you know how to spell overfed? Spoiled? Rotten???" 

Judge Darryl Adams

was called in, and the trial began. Doc Joe testified that the animals were fat and in his opinion lazy. He said there were no charges of animal abuse here for UNDER feeding ... he'd have to leave it up to Officer Lena to decide if OVER feeding was a crime. And if he could make one recommendation, please sir? These cats should be on a weight reduction program.

"You don't care much about having two eyes do ya?" said Vincent, "You think we felines can't transmit telepathic messages to our kind all over the world? Well, maybe you'll believe me when you see what's on your pillow tonight."

Officer Lena testified that yes, well, she did have to agree that the cats seemed rather on the large side, but KiKi's haircut was really awful and well .. (what was it you wanted me to say Vincent?) .. oh yes I believe there's a new state law requiring tuna at least every third day and ...

Judge Darryl called on KiKi to come forward and testify but she refused, leaving Judge Darryl no choice but to drop that portion of the trial.

Vincent and Mister Mister kept interrupting Judge Darryl claiming if not starvation, at least food not up to their standards. Vincent snapped, "Why don't you just let her plead insanity, there's no question there!"

Judge Darryl said, "Young lady / cat, what the heck are you anyway? I agree with Vincent, just plead insanity, then I won't have to think this one thru. Why, just why are you ordering cat food AGAIN when you still owe this feed bill of $6,782.47? What do you do with all this cat food anyway? "

"Your honor, that's a lot of questions at one time, do you want me to start with insanity?" asked Kerry.

"NO! Why are you buying all this cat food?" demanded Judge Darryl.

"Because sir, with 650 cats, that's what they eat EVERY month! They've eaten me out of house and home, your honor!" Kerry sobbed.

"Six Hundred and Fifty cats! That's crazy! You ARE insane! Do you have any idea how many animals that is?"asked the judge.

"Yes, your honor, 650", answered Kerry.

"Don't be a smart a...., isn't there a shelter or sanctuary or something you can call to get rid of all these cats?"

"Sir, I AM the sanctuary, nobody else is going to take these cats, just look at Vincent, would you have him?" cried Kerry.

"Hey, wait a minute, we can work this out, you don't want to give me away, I like it just fine living here at Rikki's, don't throw me out like trash!" Vincent pleaded.

"Young man, do I hear you say you like it just fine?" Judge Darryl fixed a glare on Vincent.

"Yes sir, they're awfully good to me. Nobody else in the world wanted me. Or my 650 some odd buddies. Nobody. They just wanted to kill us. I know we can be naughty sometimes, but we don't deserve to die. If we didn't have Rikki's Refuge we'd all be dead. Please don't send us away. We love Rikki's!" cried Vincent

"What about this story of you never being fed .....?"

"Well your honor, I'm sorry, it's just that the pantry is running low and I'm scared, I was starved as a kitten before I came to Rikki's and I can't bear the thought, and when the pantry gets low, and I thought ... well maybe you'd make her feed me tuna every day. I'm sorry sir." Vincent brightened. "Maybe we can just forget all this and we can go out for lunch now?"

"And what about these complaints of KiKi's haircut?" Judge Darryl asked.

"Hmmm ... well, anybody is entitled to a lousy 'do once in a while, after all ... looked in a mirror lately?" smirked Vincent. 

" You've caused a lot of trouble young man. I'm going to sentence you to 100 hours of community service for this fiasco" Judge Darryl banged his gavel.

"100 hours! You can't. You can't do that to me. I have the right to be happy and carefree and not lift a finger. I have the right to be a spoiled rotten cat and do as I please. I have the right ..." Vincent babbled in deperation.

"Young man, I think you need to learn the difference in thinking you just deserve everything and being appreciative of what is given to you. 100 hours community service." Judge darryl was firm.

"Hey! I'm a cat, 100 of your hours is like 700 cat hours!"

"Ok - 700 hours of Community Service, wanna open your mouth again? And you can serve it at an animal sanctuary and see how much work and time and trouble goes into taking care of you guys!"

As for YOU, Miss Kerry!

You shall remain incarcerated until the $6,782.47 feed bill is paid off. AND when it is and you next order cat food you shall order only low fat cat food. Do you understand me?"

"How can I run the refuge and raise the money to pay that bill and clean Vincent's litter box if I'm incarcerated?" asked Kerry.

"Quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. As far as I'm concerned Vincent's Community Service can start right about now. Let him clean his own litterbox!"

"You can't turn him lose to run the entire refuge! There's got to be somebody older and more wise and more responsible in the office to keep things going! Your honor, you can't do this ...."

"Well, Nanny T. Goat is a pretty responsible wise old gal, I appoint her to be in charge." ordered the Judge. "She can give you a hand, er hoof, at fundraising. Maybe she can do better than you anyway. If you're falling this far behind .. after all .. maybe you need some new help in the office."

And so you see how I got involved in all this. Just by standing around, minding my own business, chewing my cud and looking wise.

"Give me another chance," pleaded Kerry. "I'll send out another e-mail, another newsletter, I'll beg everybody to please please donate so we can feed the animals, please let me get back to work in my office taking care of my animals."

Which part of $6,782.47 do you NOT understand?

 "Pay or stay, it's your choice." declared the Judge. "Case closed."

And with that Lena dragged Kerry back to the dog runs. How long will it be.....

Fill this jar with $20's...

and you will save the day and get Kerry returned to the refuge.

Fill this jar with $20s and Kerry can come home. We're only $576 short of getting Kerry home. Help us raise the money so Kerry can come back to work!

Please send your support. $1, $5 or what ever you can. Paypal, Credit card or send a check to Rikki's Refuge, PO Box 1357, Orange VA 22960. 

Does she get out?